What Picking Pumpkins From a Pumpkin Patch taught me About Love
What Picking
Pumpkins From a Pumpkin Patch taught me About Love
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| ( I may or not be trying to consume the baby gourd that looks like a pumpkin) |
Over the past few
months, I’ve been
struggling quite a bit with understanding myself and learning to value that I
see myself as more than the girl I used to be.
That just because my old friends knew me as the OCD/Plannerized-insane
being, that doesn’t mean that my
new friends have to see me that way, nor do I have to choose to see myself in
that old and stealthy dimmed light.
Transforming into
the funny girl with lots of smiles and laughs though hasn’t been all rainbows and sunshine. And although yes, this is my authentic
character that had gotten hidden underneath the layers of self-hate,
comparison, stress, and a slew of negative experiences, that doesn’t mean that the process has been 100% easy to
live with. Loving myself, and learning
how to love others correctly, for instance, is something I still struggle with
on a daily basis.
Because as much as I
would like to tell you that I wake up every morning and take the advice that I
so lovingly give to others about their worth and self-esteem, I honestly don’t.
That as much as I write about Jesus, and how His love is so unlike
anything we will ever experience in this temporary life, I still find myself
longing to understand the magnitude of this conception. And that although I profess to others that this
life is beautiful, and love is not a feeling or emotion, but a state of living
in God’s Will, I too
still struggle to make it through periods of loneliness, drought, and feeling
anything but loved.
However, while going
to the Pumpkin Patch yesterday with my Mom, God began to reveal to me the
aspects of this love in an entirely new light.
As I walked across the crisply fallen leaves of fall and weaved my way
in and out of the vines that entangled my every step, the number of pumpkins
that surrounded my feet surprised me.
Sure, there were probably 3,000 pumpkins in that field to be picked, but
at least half of that number had already been selected and were sitting beside
of the vine they once grew from. Looking
down at those pumpkins that had already been picked, I found myself resilient
to pick any like that, and instead choose the ones that were still freshly
attached to their source of life. My
Mother on the other hand, though looked at the pumpkins that were already
picked, but still sitting on the ground and said, “Nothing is wrong with them, so why don’t we pick a few of those?”
Allowing her words
to sink in, I was appalled at the voices in my head that said, “Why would I do that,” when I had no justification. Other than not being as fun as searching for
the “perfect” pumpkin, and getting to rip it off the vine
itself, this got me thinking a whole lot about love, and a whole lot less about
the pumpkins I was picking.
I think sometimes in
life we approach love in the same way that we approach these pumpkins. We search high and low for the “perfect”
one and avoid all of those that have already been picked and placed over. Though a few are unsalvageable due to
rotting, many are perfectly great pumpkins, we just simply aren’t attracted to them, find them as our ideal “choice,”
or want to have the fun in the chase and search of our own selection
instead. And don’t we tend to do the same thing with
love? We meet hundreds of people,
probably even thousands every single year, but this one isn’t the right height, this one is too weird,
this one isn’t “the one,”
and so on and so forth. But what if we
stopped looking for what we thought we wanted, and just allowed God and His
Will for love in our lives to rein instead?
What if we stopped comparing the “brand
new” pumpkin, to the
one that was already picked and neatly placed on the ground beside of us?
Perhaps Jesus is
trying to teach me something about love, through something as strange as a girl
aimlessly wandering through a pumpkin patch.
To reveal to me that in life, there may be three types of people and the
love that they offer:
1)
The picked-over pumpkin- Though there is nothing inherently wrong
with this pumpkin, you simply don’t
want to pick it off the ground, take it home to your loving front porch, and
show it off to your friends. “Wow, I bet that was a big task to rip off the
vine,” the voices
would never ask. You simply aren’t attracted to this pumpkin for a variety of
reasons. Maybe you want to get
enthralled in the chase and search of your own, maybe you just don’t like its shape or height, or maybe, there
is nothing wrong with it, but your heart just says “no.”
Some
people that you meet in life will reflect this picked over pumpkin. In fact, maybe you yourself are the picked-over
the pumpkin. You’ve fallen off of your vine, but no one ever
seems to be interested. Though there is
nothing wrong with you (and most likely there isn’t), people just pass you by. And if we’re being honest, being the “picked over pumpkin” doesn’t
feel too good, or do much for your self-esteem/worth. Too many times have I been the victim of this
problem. “Why do guys never like me?” I question, when my friends and family
assure me that they do, I am just oblivious or unaware. “Why
do I always want to look taller, more athletic, more “perfect”?” my mind ponders when I already know that who
I am, and who God created me to be should be enough. “Why
do I get picked over from the other girls whose lives are as real as the super
star models we see in magazines?”
my heart sinks. “Why does it scare you so much
to be the picked over pumpkin?”
the Holy Spirit prompts me as I hear God finish with, “when that’s all that I’ve asked you to be?”
In
all of their less than appealing initial encounter, these pumpkins offer the
purest form of love. They know what’s like to go without it; therefore, they
strive all the more prominently to give it.
They realize that they are imperfect, yet they long to live, and love,
and grow anyways.
2)
The rotting pumpkin- Unlike the picked-over pumpkin the rotting
pumpkin can’t be salvaged or
saved for anything. You can’t take him home to cook with, it is too late
to carve its disintegrating flesh, and the smell alone is enough to make you
never want another pumpkin [milkshake, pie, cookie, roll, latte] ever again in
your life.
In
life, these pumpkins are the people you should stay away from, and the type of
love that they try to entice you with.
These are the guys and girls that purse without really caring about you
as an individual. They are the ones who
believe that most slept with people, one-night stands, porn, and any other
means of fake satisfaction are what fully define love. The guys who act like they really like a girl
just to get her to have sex with them, for instance, or the girls who dress
like prostitutes to appear attractive because they love for this deceptive
affection so badly are both examples.
Yet
what the world doesn’t
show you about these types of pumpkins, and the love that they embody is how
evil, ugly, and decaying they are on the inside. Like the picked over pumpkin, they might even
try to trick you into choosing them.
Into lowering your standards, and giving them a chance, because “hey, if you can get over the smell, it isn’t that bad of a bargain.” But
is that really the type of love you want to engage in? The kind that appears perfect on the outside,
but when you get to know it deeper, the putrid flesh of its core is enough to
make you get sick?
Sure
this love might be satisfying for a temporary pleasure, but will it fulfill the
need you feel in your heart? Will it replace
the void that exists? (And if you are wondering, the answering is no. If you don’t have a personal relationship with Jesus,
then you will always be looking to mere men to fill this need, and sadly, with
this type of pumpkin, you will never be satisfied. If you do have a relationship with Jesus
though, this type of pumpkin still won’t
ever satisfy. In fact, it will most
likely leave you feeling less loved that you did, to begin with).
3)
The new and “perfect” pumpkin- If I’m
completely vulnerable with you, I would love to say that the “perfect”
pumpkin was achievable in all facets of life.
But if I were to tell you that, I would not only be lying to myself, but
to all of you. As much as we would like
to think that there is the “perfect” pumpkin and “perfect”
love existing somewhere in this world, it simply
isn’t true.
For
example, even in the brand new pumpkins that I freshly plucked from the vine,
they still had strange shapes, random chunks out of the side, color
discoloration, and so on and so forth.
But you know what? They still work! They
are still cute. They are still usable
for me to paint, carve, decorate, and show off to my friends. They
have just transformed into the picked-over pumpkin that I once wouldn’t give a second glance to.
The
same thing then goes for their love.
Because there is no “perfect” pumpkin, let alone “perfect”
anything in this world that we live, there certainly isn’t “perfect” love that we, as humans are able to
possess. Yes, Jesus Christ is perfect, and the love He embodies is perfect, but
the love that we experience from others, and long to crave after will never be
perfect.
We are messy and fallen beings in the result
of a messy and fallen world. But like
the picked-over pumpkins, we still work.
We still shine. We still love- it
just looks different than what the world might expect it to.
In resolution, I
like to think that Jesus, in all of His perfection, love, and glory often chose
the picked-over pumpkin and even reflected that of one Himself. Though he never fell off the path that God
had set for Him, He did represent love in a way that would seem unrecognizable,
strange, and uncalled for to that of the world.
Like my mom, I am
learning to choose to pick the picked over pumpkin, because when the right
person comes along, they will cherish and love me (and you!) with all they
have. Just like Jesus, they will know
where you’ve been, and how
you’ve fallen off
along the way, but what matters most is the potential and life you bring to the
future. And they will want that. He
will want that. Because even in your
picked over patch, He will pick you up, take you home, wash you off, and make
you more glorious than you ever thought you could be.
Love the picked-over pumpkins friends. Be the picked-over pumpkin. Give that type of love to yourself, but then
also don’t forget to
lavish that now adored love upon other people.
Picking pumpkins from a pumpkin patch taught
me about love: How to give it, how to receive it, how to know it, how to embody
it, and how to pick it.
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| (Be the picked-over pumpkin :) ) |
