The
Prince Charming Complex
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| (Photo Credits Belong to Photographer: Amber Ginter. Yes this is my parents, because my love-life is nonexistent and rather than show you no picture at all, you get this lovely gem of them. Insert the "Awww") |
When
I was about fourteen years old, I began constructing a list of what I wanted to
find in a future boyfriend/ husband. I diligently read my Bible and what it
said about finding this type of person, as I created my own qualifications.
Taller than me, can play piano/ guitar, can sing, brown hair, funny, romantic,
kind, loves Jesus more than he loves me, enjoys running, working out, dogs, etc.,
the list went on and on. And at the time, I didn't see anything wrong with this
list. In fact, I was sure that I would date or marry someone that embodied these
characteristics. But then, I grew up.
I
reached ages fifteen, sixteen, and seventeen without finding this person, let
alone dating them. And slowly, God began to reveal to me that my thinking of
this future had been wrong all along. For this phase that I had been stuck in
could easily be coined as the "Prince Charming Complex". A period of
my life where I really believed that I would find this one perfect person that
held all the qualities my dear little heart could possess, and he would sweep
me off like a fairytale to live my life in the castle. But romance you see, and
love stories made by God are not like the movies. They are not like the love
that Hallmark or Fifty Shades Darker scream out at you.
Thus,
at ages eighteen, nineteen, twenty, and now even twenty-one, I am learning to
recreate these standards I had placed on this facade of a person, and wait for
a Prince Charming with the qualities that God says truly matter. And to be
honest with you, I really don't care now if they can sing, play guitar/piano,
are romantic and have brown hair or not (although I really do believe they
should be taller than me ha-ha :)) but some standards, regardless, will never
change. They must love Jesus more than me and have a love for Him that can be
seen through all actions. They must seek Him above all else and truly have a
real, intimate, and genuine relationship with Him, before they ever try and
pursue one with me. And you know what? Those things are okay to have in mind
because they are morals and not standards. They are a part of who God tells us
to keep our minds and eyes open for.
So,
I stopped looking for a perfect person, and instead, started seeking out an imperfect
person, loved by a perfect God, who loves Him more than He could ever possibly
love me. I stopped waiting for someone to make my heart go pitter patter and
instead, make my mind rest at ease, knowing that because they seek God first,
they will truly share His love with me. I stopped wishing for God to just let
me see the person I would date already and complaining that I have never dated
anyone, instead choosing to rest in his waiting, knowing that when He says the
time is right, it truly is. Because you
know what? I'd rather have a man of God that prays and worships with me, than a
man who can hit every note on the scale. I'd rather have a true follower of
Christ that shares his insecurities and flaws with me rather than sweep them
under the rug and act like He has no insecurities. I'd rather have a husband
who laughs and teases me all the time in God's faith and love, than one who is
so serious about maintaining the rules and regulations of life that he forgets
to live at all.
For
no matter, what this world throws at us about who to love, or what to look for,
I will continue to seek my Heavenly Father above all else, and pray every day
knowing that the Prince Charming I've been looking for all along is on his way.
He may have gotten stuck on a very slow turtle and is highly confused out in
the middle of the desert right now, but I know that he is coming because God
has great things in store for both you and me! Surely, a God who embodies the
perfection of a true Prince Charming knows exactly when you need to meet yours.
Agape,
Amber
