We're All Broken
We’re all Broken
Just a little over two months I learned something about
brokenness that not only made me study myself a little bit more, but analyze
others and get a glimpse into the truth that maybe when everyone says “Yeah,
I’m okay”, they are further from okay than a girl claiming that “Things are
fine”. More specifically, I have learned
that sometimes when we think we know a person, we only see their outer surface
layer and that their true self is still hidden behind depths, mounds, and leaps
of struggles, insecurities, guilt, and sin, disguised by the realities of built
up walls, overthought perceptions, and lack of self-worth; myself included.
When someone hurts you, for instance, we as Christian’s are
taught to turn the other cheek, forgive the person, and move on with our
lives. But brokenness caused by a
hurting heart, crushed soul, and inferior look in the mirror can take a person
quite a bit longer than a simple flip of the cheek to get over. Speaking from personal experience, I knew
these feelings very well, and it wasn’t until my mother revealed to me that
holding onto them and constantly telling every new person I met about them, really
wasn’t any way to live. “Amber, by bringing up that hurt time and time again,
you are not allowing yourself to heal, and until you truly stop thinking about
it and letting it influence everything you do, your heart will always be
attached to strings that end in pain.”
Yet even time you see doesn’t heal all wounds; God does. And if
we are being honest, we are all broken in some way, shape, or form, but in
sharing our brokenness with others, we can be made whole. Let me state that again. Just because you are broken doesn’t mean that
you have to act like your life is a perfectly glued together pottery art when
it isn’t. It also doesn’t mean that you
have to spill your guts about your past and how this person or that hurt you to
every single person. But it does mean
that in understanding we are all broken, meaning we all struggle with things in
the past, present, or future that cause us to become shard pieces of glass, we
can help each other to heal. We can
reveal to these true friends and realistic people that we are humans with flaws
as real as the granola pieces stuck in our braces, or the white mark of
deodorant on our little black dresses.
Because my friends, no matter how these things measure or compare to the
worldly views surrounding us, I would choose genuine, authentic, and true
people with of all their flaws included rather than a person that appears
perfect on the outside, but doesn’t know how to reveal their character on the
inside.
And yes, if you are wondering, even I once fell to the claims
of this scheme that the world professes.
I thought that I really knew people when in reality, I only knew who I
thought they were, and what they portrayed on the outside wasn’t anything that
they truly were at the core. I viewed
these perfectly looking, feeling, and acting people as goals to look up to and
become, but were they actually happy?
Were their polished Christian characters as real as they made them
seem? Were their inabilities to profess
any flaws humble or striking? Was their
love for God measured by their lifted hands and charming voices or even real
after all? I would like to think so, but the only person who knows that would
be themselves and God.
I met a great friend this past year, and they can’t even
begin to compare to some of the people that I called “my friends” in the
past. They care about me for who I am,
not who they want me to be, and more importantly, their love for God is so real
that I never have to question their authenticity. Sharing vulnerable information with me, and I
choosing to do the same, I feel like this person let me break down some of
their walls, and in return, they broke down some of mine. Because isn’t that what true friendship is
all about? Learning to become whole
again by helping each other to glue those broken pieces back together?
I have heard it said in Japan that when a pot gets broken the
people don’t discard its contents.
Instead, they piece it back together with a priceless gold because
something that has now suffered some type of damage has a history that makes it
all the more beautiful. And why? Because this once whole pot has now become
whole again by sharing its brokenness with the world, and perhaps we as humans
are meant to do the same. To share a
little brokenness with others in the hopes that we will find someone just as
broken as us, that together can make something whole.
“We are all a little broken [my dear,] but that’s how the
light gets in”- Ernest Hemingway
Agape, Amber