Shattered Silence

We’re all Broken   (We are all broken, but it is okay; that's how the light gets in) Just a little over two months I learned something about brokenness that not only made me study myself a little bit more, but analyze others and get a glimpse into the truth that maybe when everyone says “Yeah, I’m okay”, they are further from okay than a girl claiming that “Things are fine”.   More specifically, I have learned that sometimes when we think we know a person, we only see their outer surface layer and that their true self is still hidden behind depths, mounds, and leaps of struggles, insecurities, guilt, and sin, disguised by the realities of built up walls, overthought perceptions, and lack of self-worth; myself included. When someone hurts you, for instance, we as Christian’s are taught to turn the other cheek, forgive the person, and move on with our lives.   But brokenness caused by a hurting heart, crushed soul, and inferior look in the mirror can take a per...

You’ve changed (Who cares if I'm laughing and look silly! At least I am being authentic:))   Over the past few months, I have had quite a few people tell me that “I’ve changed”, and by quite a few, I mean the majority of those that I interact with. “Amber, what do your plans look like for the next few weeks?” Jeanie asked. “Well, I just got back from dance nationals and before that, a Mission Trip to Indiana, and you wouldn’t believe what happened. There was no schedule and I had no idea what I was going to do each day until that day arrived, but somehow, I was COMPLETELY okay with it?   Then, next week I leave for a camp where I will work with K-6 th grade, the following week I have work, and the week after that I go back to the same camp.   I was also supposed to also go on a Mission Trip to Puerto Rico, but that trip got cancelled, which is okay because I have Small Group and Hall Chaplin training for the college anyways” I replied calmly. “Who are yo...

Dance Shoes Are Not Pretty (Photo Credit Belongs to Photographer: Amber Nicole Ginter "Yes, these really are my huge feet") Being an avid dancer since the age of 3 years old, I remember when I held my first pair of dance shoes.   They were baby pink with the softest glow, and a miniature size, because who knew at age three, that my feet would one day grow to be huge.   In their pleasant but vibrant shade of pastel colors, my small hands grasped what would soon be the biggest passion of my childhood.   And little did I know, that these shoes I once saw as so pretty, would hold the most amount of sweat, tears, growth, and pain that I knew possible. Growing up at a very traditional studio (Miss Elizabeth’s School of Dance), I took tap, ballet, and acrobatics until I was old enough to choose my classes.   At the age of eight, I then enrolled in tap, and jazz, which would lead to tap line blackout, regular tap, jazz line blackout, and regular jazz by the end o...

I am Complete in You   If I am being completely honest with you, as in no sugar and spice and everything nice sprinkled on top to cover the vulnerabilities, I wish that I could tell you it gets better.  That someday, you will wake up with sunshine streaming in on your cheeks, a heart expanding with more love than you’ve ever felt, and the giggles that just won’t stop rolling until you fall off your bed and knock that noggin of yours on the floor.  But if I were to tell you those things, I wouldn’t be portraying the candor, because in all sincerity it won’t ever be like that.  It won’t be like a switch that magically turns on to illuminate the darkness, or a shift in character that happens overnight.  Nor will it be something that you are able to fully control or gain superiority over, and as much as that pains me to admit, know that though it may not necessarily get better, our God who loves us eternally will remain the same.   So, what exactly...

The Unexpected Awaits You (Our entire group posing for a nice smile before our departure! Definitely missing these new friends already)   Just a little over two weeks ago, I was given the opportunity to attend a mission trip with my college.   Heading to Indianapolis, Indiana to work with an organization called Shepherd Community on the 46201 Zip Code Project, OCU student’s as well as those from the Church on Como were met with an abundance of unexpected twists and turns along the way.   Riding up separately to meet the team because of a previous Church commitment, I was nervous to say the least about arriving and being welcomed by the already established group of friends and family.   Only knowing about five people out of the thirty that were attending, my heart trembled, and my stomach churned, as my eyes scanned the room for familiar faces.   But familiar you see, isn’t always what God wants, and nor is the expected, so when I received word that th...