Shattered Silence

The nice girl with good intentions   (Photo Credits Belong To Photographer: Rachel Barnitz).  Ever since I was a very little girl, I have had an extreme passion for loving on and serving others, and regardless of what other people thought I always did this out of the honest sincerity in my heart to show them the love of Jesus through these actions. In the world we live today; however, people can pick and prod at these good intentions. They can scrutinize what you are doing, and eventually, eat at that beautiful heart of yours, making you feel nothing less than the love you were so desperately trying to give other people. Likewise, being the "nice" girl isn't always easy; trust me. It can be difficult to face day after day with a huge smile, bright eyes, and glittering compliments for others when no one is willing to return the favor. Now with that statement, don't get me wrong. I don't do good things by expecting something in return. In fact, if I did...

Springhill Camps: When Conviction Turns Into Healing   (Just a few of the beautiful kids that I got to work with this past week at Springhill) Last year around this time, I never would’ve guessed that my summer would be as jam-packed with God’s goodness as it has been.   Going on a mission trip, competing at a national dance competition, writing for my school website and writing center, working at a kid’s camp, and overall, just going outside of my comfort zone, I am literally astonished at the growth that has taken place in my life within this very short period of time. As I wrote about in the past few articles, multiple people keep telling me “I’ve changed.”   That my once OCD/perfectionist personality is being replaced with a charismatic, free-spirited, genuinely happy person, and to tell you the truth, it scares the living daylights out of me that I am becoming like this, but I couldn’t be happier and more in tune with the call that God has placed on my l...

We’re all Broken   (We are all broken, but it is okay; that's how the light gets in) Just a little over two months I learned something about brokenness that not only made me study myself a little bit more, but analyze others and get a glimpse into the truth that maybe when everyone says “Yeah, I’m okay”, they are further from okay than a girl claiming that “Things are fine”.   More specifically, I have learned that sometimes when we think we know a person, we only see their outer surface layer and that their true self is still hidden behind depths, mounds, and leaps of struggles, insecurities, guilt, and sin, disguised by the realities of built up walls, overthought perceptions, and lack of self-worth; myself included. When someone hurts you, for instance, we as Christian’s are taught to turn the other cheek, forgive the person, and move on with our lives.   But brokenness caused by a hurting heart, crushed soul, and inferior look in the mirror can take a per...

You’ve changed (Who cares if I'm laughing and look silly! At least I am being authentic:))   Over the past few months, I have had quite a few people tell me that “I’ve changed”, and by quite a few, I mean the majority of those that I interact with. “Amber, what do your plans look like for the next few weeks?” Jeanie asked. “Well, I just got back from dance nationals and before that, a Mission Trip to Indiana, and you wouldn’t believe what happened. There was no schedule and I had no idea what I was going to do each day until that day arrived, but somehow, I was COMPLETELY okay with it?   Then, next week I leave for a camp where I will work with K-6 th grade, the following week I have work, and the week after that I go back to the same camp.   I was also supposed to also go on a Mission Trip to Puerto Rico, but that trip got cancelled, which is okay because I have Small Group and Hall Chaplin training for the college anyways” I replied calmly. “Who are yo...