Shattered Silence

What Picking Pumpkins From a Pumpkin Patch taught me About Love ( I may or not be trying to consume the baby gourd that looks like a pumpkin) Over the past few months, I ’ ve been struggling quite a bit with understanding myself and learning to value that I see myself as more than the girl I used to be.   That just because my old friends knew me as the OCD/Plannerized-insane being, that doesn ’ t mean that my new friends have to see me that way, nor do I have to choose to see myself in that old and stealthy dimmed light. Transforming into the funny girl with lots of smiles and laughs though hasn ’ t been all rainbows and sunshine.   And although yes, this is my authentic character that had gotten hidden underneath the layers of self-hate, comparison, stress, and a slew of negative experiences, that doesn ’ t mean that the process has been 100% easy to live with.   Loving myself, and learning how to love others correctly, for instance, is something I still str...

The nice girl with good intentions   (Photo Credits Belong To Photographer: Rachel Barnitz).  Ever since I was a very little girl, I have had an extreme passion for loving on and serving others, and regardless of what other people thought I always did this out of the honest sincerity in my heart to show them the love of Jesus through these actions. In the world we live today; however, people can pick and prod at these good intentions. They can scrutinize what you are doing, and eventually, eat at that beautiful heart of yours, making you feel nothing less than the love you were so desperately trying to give other people. Likewise, being the "nice" girl isn't always easy; trust me. It can be difficult to face day after day with a huge smile, bright eyes, and glittering compliments for others when no one is willing to return the favor. Now with that statement, don't get me wrong. I don't do good things by expecting something in return. In fact, if I did...

Springhill Camps: When Conviction Turns Into Healing   (Just a few of the beautiful kids that I got to work with this past week at Springhill) Last year around this time, I never would’ve guessed that my summer would be as jam-packed with God’s goodness as it has been.   Going on a mission trip, competing at a national dance competition, writing for my school website and writing center, working at a kid’s camp, and overall, just going outside of my comfort zone, I am literally astonished at the growth that has taken place in my life within this very short period of time. As I wrote about in the past few articles, multiple people keep telling me “I’ve changed.”   That my once OCD/perfectionist personality is being replaced with a charismatic, free-spirited, genuinely happy person, and to tell you the truth, it scares the living daylights out of me that I am becoming like this, but I couldn’t be happier and more in tune with the call that God has placed on my l...