Shattered Silence

People- Not Things   (Photo Credit to beautiful friend Rachel who captured this sight at the Zoo Lights).  The older I get, the more I realize that in life, I want people and not things. When I was younger, I would start crafting my delicately planned and detailed Christmas list as soon as October. Listing book after movie, followed by Wii games, the latest gadget, and clothes, you’d be surprised how in-depth one could be with there longed for items. Placing a delicate picture beside of each item as well as the price, store, website link, and where to find them, I recall lists way over 10 pages long and more than 100 items. Now of course, I realized as a child that I would never receive all of these items that my heart so called “desired” , however, it was just really fun for me to make the list and then be completely surprised by what I would receive Christmas morning. As I began to grow up though, the lists began to shorten, and the items changed. I outg...

What Picking Pumpkins From a Pumpkin Patch taught me About Love ( I may or not be trying to consume the baby gourd that looks like a pumpkin) Over the past few months, I ’ ve been struggling quite a bit with understanding myself and learning to value that I see myself as more than the girl I used to be.   That just because my old friends knew me as the OCD/Plannerized-insane being, that doesn ’ t mean that my new friends have to see me that way, nor do I have to choose to see myself in that old and stealthy dimmed light. Transforming into the funny girl with lots of smiles and laughs though hasn ’ t been all rainbows and sunshine.   And although yes, this is my authentic character that had gotten hidden underneath the layers of self-hate, comparison, stress, and a slew of negative experiences, that doesn ’ t mean that the process has been 100% easy to live with.   Loving myself, and learning how to love others correctly, for instance, is something I still str...

The nice girl with good intentions   (Photo Credits Belong To Photographer: Rachel Barnitz).  Ever since I was a very little girl, I have had an extreme passion for loving on and serving others, and regardless of what other people thought I always did this out of the honest sincerity in my heart to show them the love of Jesus through these actions. In the world we live today; however, people can pick and prod at these good intentions. They can scrutinize what you are doing, and eventually, eat at that beautiful heart of yours, making you feel nothing less than the love you were so desperately trying to give other people. Likewise, being the "nice" girl isn't always easy; trust me. It can be difficult to face day after day with a huge smile, bright eyes, and glittering compliments for others when no one is willing to return the favor. Now with that statement, don't get me wrong. I don't do good things by expecting something in return. In fact, if I did...