Typical
Single Christian White Girl Selfie
" I'm going to end up alone.
With cats. Lots of cats. I don't even like cats?"
" What is wrong with me? Do I smell or something? Well, not today at least... I checked"
"#
" I get the amount of attention that a white crayon does. Yeah that one’s sure looking up."
" Mom, is something wrong with me?"
" I'm hopeless. I'm never going to find love."
" If only.... Then I'd be in a relationship"
" Jesus had the perfect relation..... Oh wait a minute...." Yeah let that one sink in a little. Jesus never had the perfect relationship. In fact, as far as I am aware he never dated anyone. He never married. He never felt that intimate connection that you and I have when you really think he or she is "the one". Yet he never complained. Or ever said, “Mom, is something wrong with me?" Or questioned why in the world His fate was decided as forever alone.
In a daily Bible study I once read, it finally occurred to me that Jesus really gave us the ultimate sacrifice. Not only did He give up His life for us, but He gave up living, most likely, a self-fulfilled, married, happy lifestyle- but that's not the way the story goes. Jesus didn't come to live for Himself, He came to live and die for you.
”He is the guest at weddings... Yet never the groom
Children are naturally drawn to Him... Though He has no child of His own
He feels normal sexual desires... But His spiritual purpose keeps Him pure
He snubs the social norms... Yet confounds rules with keen insights
He is a content, confident man knowing who He is and what He wants, yet…Experiences intense times of loneliness and longing. Who is this UN married Man? His name is Jesus, Jesus the Christ, Son of living God."
Startling isn't it? That the man who could've had it all, had the least. That the man who had the power to do anything and everything didn't have a girlfriend or wife on the side. Did it ever occur to you that He too as God himself, felt that desire to be loved by someone, but instead He chose to love each and every one of you instead. Although we may have rejected Him, or sinned against Him? And He still chooses us time and time again. What a concept isn't it?
So no, I don't believe God was caught taking a typical single Christian white male selfie, with the #foreveralone. I don't believe God was ever seen complaining that it just wasn't fair that He too couldn't be in a relationship. And I certainly don't believe that God wants you, in your singleness to think that "something must be wrong with you".
Being honest, I too have even asked that question. I'd wondered if I was just taller, or prettier, or more athletic, or talented and so on, that someone would like me. I wondered why the person I always had a crush on, didn't have a crush on me back. In fact, I tried to change myself to be more athletic, or interested in the things that they loved and I really didn't care about, just because I thought then they would like me too. But you see, that is not how God created us to be. He didn't make us so that we have to change and morph ourselves into something were not, just so that guy or girl will like you.
There is a reason you're still single, right where you're at, and no, it is not because something is wrong with you. Indeed, the reason I am still single, and you're still single and your best friend is still single is the same. Think I'm wrong? Let me explain.
" What is wrong with me? Do I smell or something? Well, not today at least... I checked"
"#
" I get the amount of attention that a white crayon does. Yeah that one’s sure looking up."
" Mom, is something wrong with me?"
" I'm hopeless. I'm never going to find love."
" If only.... Then I'd be in a relationship"
" Jesus had the perfect relation..... Oh wait a minute...." Yeah let that one sink in a little. Jesus never had the perfect relationship. In fact, as far as I am aware he never dated anyone. He never married. He never felt that intimate connection that you and I have when you really think he or she is "the one". Yet he never complained. Or ever said, “Mom, is something wrong with me?" Or questioned why in the world His fate was decided as forever alone.
In a daily Bible study I once read, it finally occurred to me that Jesus really gave us the ultimate sacrifice. Not only did He give up His life for us, but He gave up living, most likely, a self-fulfilled, married, happy lifestyle- but that's not the way the story goes. Jesus didn't come to live for Himself, He came to live and die for you.
”He is the guest at weddings... Yet never the groom
Children are naturally drawn to Him... Though He has no child of His own
He feels normal sexual desires... But His spiritual purpose keeps Him pure
He snubs the social norms... Yet confounds rules with keen insights
He is a content, confident man knowing who He is and what He wants, yet…Experiences intense times of loneliness and longing. Who is this UN married Man? His name is Jesus, Jesus the Christ, Son of living God."
Startling isn't it? That the man who could've had it all, had the least. That the man who had the power to do anything and everything didn't have a girlfriend or wife on the side. Did it ever occur to you that He too as God himself, felt that desire to be loved by someone, but instead He chose to love each and every one of you instead. Although we may have rejected Him, or sinned against Him? And He still chooses us time and time again. What a concept isn't it?
So no, I don't believe God was caught taking a typical single Christian white male selfie, with the #foreveralone. I don't believe God was ever seen complaining that it just wasn't fair that He too couldn't be in a relationship. And I certainly don't believe that God wants you, in your singleness to think that "something must be wrong with you".
Being honest, I too have even asked that question. I'd wondered if I was just taller, or prettier, or more athletic, or talented and so on, that someone would like me. I wondered why the person I always had a crush on, didn't have a crush on me back. In fact, I tried to change myself to be more athletic, or interested in the things that they loved and I really didn't care about, just because I thought then they would like me too. But you see, that is not how God created us to be. He didn't make us so that we have to change and morph ourselves into something were not, just so that guy or girl will like you.
There is a reason you're still single, right where you're at, and no, it is not because something is wrong with you. Indeed, the reason I am still single, and you're still single and your best friend is still single is the same. Think I'm wrong? Let me explain.
1) Your singleness has not caught
God by surprise
·
It sounds so cliché
but God is really writing your unique love story! Right
this very moment! Yes, right now.
this very moment! Yes, right now.
·
As hard to believe as it is, if
God wanted you to be in a relationship right now, you would be in one.
·
God has a divine and perfect plan
for your life, and if a relationship is in
the picture within that, it will happen in His timing, not ours.
the picture within that, it will happen in His timing, not ours.
2) Being in a relationship will
not make all of your problems magically disappear
·
In fact, being in a relationship
may actually cause more problems, because
you learn to share each other’s burdens.
·
However, we must learn to realize
that the love from dating someone
will ultimately never fill that void in our heart for love and longing.
will ultimately never fill that void in our heart for love and longing.
·
Yes, your boyfriend or girlfriend
or husband or wife will love you, but
God's love is that which surpasses all understanding.
God's love is that which surpasses all understanding.
3) God
alone is the only one who can truly fulfill the longing desires to be loved.
·
Don't think that finding
"the one" (which actually doesn't exist... Another blog for another
time. I know. What? Just stay on board with this article for now, and I will
cover that later) will cure that emptiness of love you are feeling inside.
·
God was made to be the ONLY thing
that could satisfy that deep burning passion
within our lives. He
longs to provide for you and love you in a way that no human being could ever
compare.
·
Not until Jesus Christ is fully
the obsession and surface of your entire
heart, will you be ready for the love story of your life, that He is slowly unfolding.
heart, will you be ready for the love story of your life, that He is slowly unfolding.
We must learn to come to the
grips of reality that Jesus must be our first true, and only love before we are
ready for that long awaited and dreamed of romance. To
realize that if we don't love God more than the person we want to be in a
relationship with, it will never work out.
For God didn't create relationships and marriages so that we would love that
person more than Him. No, He created it because it was part of His master plan.
That two people who love God more than anything else in their life can become
one and help each other to love God even more than they love one another.
It's a difficult concept, and I'm definitely not saying it's easy, but one day
it will be worth it.
And trust me, I know how hard it can be. To hang out with your friends who all have boyfriends or guys that like them too. Or to go Christmas shopping at the mall and feel that twinge of pain every single time you see a cute couple walk by. To have never dated someone ever. Yes, ever. Even the romantic movies of the season become a drag to your heart. Longing to be loved by someone else. To have someone to be silly with or go to the movies and laugh the whole time. To go to the zoo lights or just hold hands on a walk through the park. Yet if we begin to let these overwhelming thoughts consume us, we lose sight of the one who loves us the most, and already has all of this stuff planned and timed according to His will.
If only we could learn to stop taking the typical single Christian white girl selfies that scream desperate. To realize that God already loves us more than anyone else ever could, letting him fulfill all of our needs and desires that haunt us. Then maybe, just maybe we would come to the conclusion that God is writing our love story and when the time is right, all things will fall into place. But if we continue to live with the life motto that we have to be in a relationship right here right now, just seeking to be loved by anyone that will give us the time of day, then we will have already lost its meaning.
In complete candor, I have been at the point of this fault. I have tried to place a guy I liked on a pedestal and change who I was, but it all came crashing down. Why? Because I needed to love God more than the guy I thought I was in love with. I needed to let God's divine plan play out, realizing that maybe who I wanted to be with, wasn't who God wanted me with. That God needed to be my number one love and priority to fulfill my deepest desires, instead of this so called “puppy love".
Learning to not worry, just be happy with who I am and who God made me to be.
So Lord, please fill me and those reading this with the love you freely give to us. To satisfy our cravings to be loved, and reassure us that you already love us with all that we need. For when we are completely obsessed with you and madly in love with your presence and who you are and what you have gave, then we will be ready for that magical Cinderella story that no one’s own scheming of plans could ever compare.
And trust me, I know how hard it can be. To hang out with your friends who all have boyfriends or guys that like them too. Or to go Christmas shopping at the mall and feel that twinge of pain every single time you see a cute couple walk by. To have never dated someone ever. Yes, ever. Even the romantic movies of the season become a drag to your heart. Longing to be loved by someone else. To have someone to be silly with or go to the movies and laugh the whole time. To go to the zoo lights or just hold hands on a walk through the park. Yet if we begin to let these overwhelming thoughts consume us, we lose sight of the one who loves us the most, and already has all of this stuff planned and timed according to His will.
If only we could learn to stop taking the typical single Christian white girl selfies that scream desperate. To realize that God already loves us more than anyone else ever could, letting him fulfill all of our needs and desires that haunt us. Then maybe, just maybe we would come to the conclusion that God is writing our love story and when the time is right, all things will fall into place. But if we continue to live with the life motto that we have to be in a relationship right here right now, just seeking to be loved by anyone that will give us the time of day, then we will have already lost its meaning.
In complete candor, I have been at the point of this fault. I have tried to place a guy I liked on a pedestal and change who I was, but it all came crashing down. Why? Because I needed to love God more than the guy I thought I was in love with. I needed to let God's divine plan play out, realizing that maybe who I wanted to be with, wasn't who God wanted me with. That God needed to be my number one love and priority to fulfill my deepest desires, instead of this so called “puppy love".
Learning to not worry, just be happy with who I am and who God made me to be.
So Lord, please fill me and those reading this with the love you freely give to us. To satisfy our cravings to be loved, and reassure us that you already love us with all that we need. For when we are completely obsessed with you and madly in love with your presence and who you are and what you have gave, then we will be ready for that magical Cinderella story that no one’s own scheming of plans could ever compare.
